D.

Instead of a piece of toilet paper and a pen, he typed out "Nordstrom?" on his QWERTY phone
and held the screen under the stall wall. I gave him thumbs up under the stall back at him, and left. Flush the toilet, casually walk out of the bookstore, head down a block to the Nordstroms, saunter in and find the men's room. Take a stall, and wait for a familiar pair of shoes.

Traffic is just as bad here, after 15 minutes of waiting for a break, "Do you have anywhere else to go?" I whip out my phone and type back "Macy's men's room?". "OK" comes the response.

Zip up, walk out, down the street into Macys. This bathroom has floor-to-ceiling stalls. I take a stall, forgetting I can't find him this way. Wait till everyone not in a stall is gone and take a position at the urinal and try to figure out who my new friend is--I can't even be sure I remember what kind of pants or shoes he's wearing. Soon a lock clicks, the red "Occupied" sign rolling to green "Unoccupied". No one steps out. Bingo. I wait for the coast to clear and push in. Yup, it's him. Cute, van Dyke, blond hair, little bit of a belly, thin fringe of blond pubes. He closes the door and turns the lock.

I kneel and start sucking, he's soft but as I suck he starts to get harder and bigger. Much bigger, a nice length and thicker than usual, I keep sucking. It gets hot, so I tuck my shirttail behind my neck, showing off my pierced nipples and keep sucking. I pause for a breath and spit on my hand to stroke my own dick while I'm sucking.

When a father and his young son walk in, the kid chattering away like all kids do, I worry that it's a moodkiller for him at least, but I keep sucking. Dad and son won't know, and we're both experienced (or repressed) enough to keep quiet. I slow a bit, run my hands around his stomach and torso. He's lifted his shirt a bit so I can suck without getting the hem in my eyes. I lick his nuts, and he almost gasps out loud. He pushes my face away, I smile and take the hint. Slowly I get I play with his taint and try to stroke his ass too, but his cheeks remain tight--not a bottom, I guess. Not in public at least.

My knees are getting sore from holding my body weight on the hard cold tile, quietly as I can, I move over to the toilet. He follows, hard cock sticking out, such a sweet dick, I lucked out today. I noticed some precum on his dick, almost there. I look at him some while I stroke my own dick, he strokes himself, then I lean over and suck him some more.

I feel him tense up, taste it as he starts to cum without a sound. Was it a jet, a dribble? I don't know, but I taste it and swallow it down. He pulls out of my mouth and shakes a little, then reaches over for some toilet paper to clean up with, and zips up. I flash him a smile as he unlocks the door quietly then slips out. I lean over, locking the door while cleaning myself up, then stand, zip up and flush before leaving. I think I see him down the hallway, as walk towards the exit. Tempted to give him my number, but why bother? Not only does it negate the point of anonymous sex, but there's a good chance that he'll never call or email--or text. I hit the jackpot, found a cute, patient cruiser who didn't ditch me in our switches, got a mouth full of thick cock, his cum and a smile without a word spoken between us.

Busy, busy, busy,

We seem to be collecting friends with benefits faster than I can write about them. Our days are filling up with both fuckbuds and nonsexual hangout kinda buds, I've been feeling a little too busy, but hope that as the summer season as people plan parties and cookouts and even zombie flash mobs winds down, our social life will quiet down a bit too.

A new "+/+" playspace opened up in the city, nice idea but I only know of it through the one party we went to Dore weekend. Was a little cramped for the amount of people at the party, but still kudos for the thought. Part of the reason I don't like going to sexclubs nowadays is my sense of guilt if I don't disclose my status to anonymous sex partners. Much easier going to a party where everyone knows everyone else is poz.

Not much else going on, when I'm motivated to pick up writing again, I'll get in depth about some of the fun we've hade.

( Sorry, kids, not much stroke material here )

Li and I revisited Steamworks on Saturday, and while I wasn't as heavily drugged as last time, I pretty much repeated the last trip. By the time we arrived, earlier customers took up all the cheap and regular rooms, so we decided to splurge and go for a Large room. Lucked out and got #352, in the back play space, not bad, for 40 bucks, we got huge mattress, large TV, fan, and glory hole booth--it was like a dayspa for sluts.

About 10 minutes after checking in, I was pounding Li like there was no tomorrow. I fucked him on his back, using the mirrors on the walls and ceiling to watch my dick slam in and out, and my hips pound his ass. After some fucking, I shot my wad inside him and collapsed on the bed. We cuddled a bit, I fed Li some of my piss, and then we dozed. Li got up and went looking for more dick, and I, satisfied and post-orgasmic, pulled my towel over me and curled up for a nap.

Once in a while, I'd peek outside, or even wander around outside to see what's going on, but apart from making out with a hot German guy, I just didn't have the craving to suck, get sucked by, or fuck anyone else. I hope I'm not turning into one of those negative anti-bathhouse queens, but even though I don't use the bathhouse as it's intended, I still like being in the energy, in the dark, and around a whole bunch of horny guys.

***

A few days ago, some kid sent me a message on my Adam4Adam, "How did you get poz? Send it to my email address [voyeur@dumbshit.com]." I dunno if he was looking for advice or if he was just using Adam4Adam to get his rocks off, so rather than make up a big long sex post about the actual conversion, I told him who I thought pozzed me in a clincal two-sentence paragraph. I really don't like most Adam4Adam queers, dunno if that's because I never hook up on that site or if it's simply too repressed, don't see many poz guys on there for one thing -- I think the majority of Adam4Adam users are almost as shallow as gay.commers.

Course, I can afford to be honest about my HIV status, since I'm only on gay sites for a little something extra. If I were single, I wonder if I'd be as honest about being poz, or if I'd try to trap some cute guy into liking me first before dropping the poz bomb on him.

I'd like to think "yes, I would be honest", but it's been so many years since I've had to date, I can barely remember how hard it was to find a boyfriend, let alone how much more limited my dating pool would be because of the poz-phobic.

Something's in the air...is it a full moon? Is it the season? Am I bored with CoX? I dunno, but whatever the reason, I've been on Manhunt like crazy the past week, and spent a good time adding myself to other sites as I come across them. Not that much has come of it, all the profiles in the world don't really help when they guys you're into are too far away or not horny right when you are.
**
While cleaning the kitchen last week, I found a box of Fruit Loops and went to town on those fuckers. I love sweet cereal, but it apparantly doesn't love me back, since the crunchy little artificially colored Os cut my lip up and one of those cuts turned into an annoying mouth sore.

My mouth was still sore when we went to Steamworks on Sunday. I really wanted to go, though, since it's been ages since I fooled around in a sex club, so I popped a half a Vicodin thinking that would make sucking dick easier and climbed into the car with Li. When we got in the club, we headed to the room and started making out, I realized that the painkiller didn't cut the pain quite like I expected--and worse it made me drowsy as hell. Li and I fooled around in the room for a while, making out, sucking, fucking and I was having such a hot time that I decided "fuck it, why do I need to save myself for anyone else?" and came while fucking him. Funny how sex seems hotter than it's usual hotness with a simple change of location.

After we rested a bit, Li was raring to go look for more dick, and I, in a postcoital Vicodin coma, kissed him goodbye and lay down on the mattress for a nap--for two whole hours. I woke up only after Li came back in to give me a status report: The back was filled with guys, Li had gotten to suck on a few dicks, gotten some hot uncut guy to fuck him. We stepped out together and went to the back room, but I was still tripping. I was twitchy and unfocused, could barely concentrate on other guys. I took Li back to the back and we started making out in a stall, I tried fucking him, but my heart wasn't in it and I wasn't feeling quite exhibitionistic.

I left him in his booth looking for dick to suck and then wandered off to the steamroom--on my way there, a hot young kid reached out to rub his fingers through my chest hair--but I was on a mission. I slowed down, tossed him a smile (I hope it was a smile--still half out of my skull on Vicodin), and walked to my locker where I locked up my towel. (I've had way too many good, clean towels stolen off the rack by steamroom sluts too cheapass to get a new towel). I sat in the steamroom for a bit, got my towel out of lockup, and wandered back to find Li sucking a nice black guy. Not wanting to disturb him, I cruised around the back room, but again my heart wasn't in it. Lots of guys there seemed to be of the tight, too-worked out crowd. No body fat and hard little muscles that look OK from a distance but when you're up close, there's no give in them. After being chased around the back by a persistant guy I parked myself by Li's stall and watched him finish off the guy he was sucking, then got him to come unlock the door to our room and spent the rest of the time there sleeping it off.

I like going to sexclubs and sex parties, but I think hooking up online in the comfort of my own home has spoiled me. With online hookups, there's full disclosure before the actual meeting, there's a connection, and the best part, there's a comfortable-ass bed to fuck around on. Sunday, I just wasn't in the mood to go for quantity over quality. Maybe in a week or two, when I'm all healed up and can suck dick to my heart's content, I'll go back and try to set the record straight.

I made up for it the next day by visiting a buddy who's moving out of the state and threw himself one last gangbang fling.

Haight-Ashbury has nothing on Santa Cruz. We decided to take a trip down the coast to visit a guy we'd been talking to online--something totally unplanned and totally wild because of it. We would probably have spent the weekend sleeping in, surfing the net for porn, and generally slumming about the apartment if Li hadn't responded to Fidel's ad. A few emails back and forth actually lead somewhere for a change, and before I knew it, we had plans to spend Saturday at the beach in Santa Cruz.

Fidel is a hot Latin number, with a huge uncut dick, an insatiable ass, a taste for fashion, a religious devotion to pot, and an outgoing personality that's loud without being entirely bitchy--he's one of the most open, generous personalities I've met in a long while. We hung out most of the day with Fidel and some of his friends, then went back to his place for some fun.

I started off going down on that thick cock of his, working it slowly with my mouth and throat while Fidel and Li made out, then Li and I switched. Did I mention he is a great kisser too? While we made out, Li slurped away at his dick, moved down to his balls, and eventually worked his way to Fidel's tight hole. F was ready for it, he slid his ass over to the corner of the couch and spread his ass wide for Li's tongue to work its way around inside him. I played with his nipples, but kept coming back to that fucking hot mouth and tongue. When Li got F's ass all ready and hugry, we switched places again, and I got to work over that sweet butt while Li moved to Fidel's head and started shoving his dick down Fidel's throat. Watching the two of them going at it, Li turned to me and mouthed "fuck him".

I didn't need to be told twice, I spit on my dick and slowly started to side into Fidel's ass while Li worked his throat. I'm always amazed hot hot it is, sharing a guy (and sharing my guy with others), I'm not the most patient of tops, though, I started to fuck him pretty hard and deep and he took it like a pro. God I love bottoms. While I was fucking him, Li reached down and grabbed a hold of his dick, stroking it slowly compared to my long, deep strokes. Fidel reached down and moved Li's hand away from his dick, but not in time, his fat cock started to spasm and he shot his load all over his chest. Watching someone else get off pushed my own cock past my control, and I shot a big load of cum deep inside him.

We took a break for a bit then, and Li asked Fidel "Nice curve, eh?" Fidel answered "Fuck yeah, that was hitting all the right places." Apparantly, the way my cock is curved upwards, it hits a spot for some guys that drives them wild and can practically fuck the cum out of them. Lucky me.

After a bit of rest, we wandered off the couch and into the bed, where Fidel lubed up and a nice load out of Li before dumping his own load deep inside Li's ass. I watched the two of them fuck while stroking myself, and when they came, I quietly shot my own load across my chest. Another rest, I got up and turned on the heater to sit in front of it for a while, and when I looked in on the two, Li had Fidel on his stomach at the edge of the bed, fucking him like crazy.

We fell asleep, and woke up to another round of fucking, this time, Fidel fucked Li till he shot, and then motioned me over to come fuck the freshly opened hole of my boyfriend. Li was loving it, the more he gets fucked, the more he wants dick.

We spent Sunday just lying around, chatting with one another and enjoying each other's company before we went out and grabbed a late lunch and Li and I headed home. I hope we have more spontaneous weekends like that--and we're definately going to get some more of Fidel!

Li was chatting with H, who has been going through a few dry spells recently, and either because of this or simply because he was feeling adventurous, H was in a mood to be told what to do.

Li wrote in AIM: "Come see us, jump the fence and come through the back door, whatever you see D. doing, just go over to him, pull his dick out and start servicing it." Then Li took off to shower.

H was a bit shy when he did arrive, but all it took was a little encouragement (and my hands down his pants) to get his mouth on my dick. We swapped between kissing and him deepthroating my cock until Li got out of the shower. While H was sucking on me, Li walked up behind him and started stripping H's clothes off, then Li spit on his hand got his dick wet and slid into H.

H stopped to gasp at Li's piston action, and I slid down to H's dick and started sucking. We fucked like that for a while until I reached around and felt Li's warm, hungry hole. I'd gotten H's cock hard, so stood up, kissed H, then grabbed Li by the back of the neck, guided and bent him over the edge of the couch. "Fuck him" I told, H, then moved over to lie on the couch and suck on Li's cock while he got fucked.

When H had a good rhythm going, I rolled off the couch, moved behind him and shoved my own dick into H's hungry hole. I stood still, letting H work himself over, every motion of his hips as he was fucking Li took his ass back and forth on my cock. While we fucked each other, I reached over, grabbed Li's hips and pulled his ass farther onto H's dick while I shoved my own cock into H's ass at the same time.

Li and I had both been drinking before H showed up, and before everyone came, I took H's hand, pulled him to the bathroom and pushed Li and H onto their knees in the shower before unloading all my stored up piss on them. I loved watching them take mouthfuls of my piss and hearing them moan as they stroked their piss-slick cocks. They kissed under my stream, then Li and H took turns pissing on one another. Then we rinsed off and went to the bedroom to fuck some more.

After we had all swapped a load or two, we relaxed and chatted before H had to get going. He really liked the watersports, and we talked about one of these weeks going to Wet Wednesdays at Blowbuddies. We'll have to try that sometime.

I'm gonna start calling tricks by World of Warcraft NPC names.

A few weeks ago, Li hooked up with this guy. Not all that unique in and of itself. The two of them hit it off, and I wasn't willing to give up playing my rogue in World of Warcraft for anything so common as a hungry ass. I'da stopped if he was coming by my place, but the thought of having to get dressed, leave the house, and walk to his apartment seemed at the time like too much work.

Li and Belgrom hit it off, physically and mentally. Li is a great, loving, nonjudgemental guy with a piggy streak a mile wide. If I haven't mentioned how lucky I am to have him, let me just say now that I'm very lucky to have him. Of course, I'm not the only guy to notice what a catch Li is. While I'm online gaming, Li is online chatting with people.

Anyway, B and Li have more in common than dick and ass, they also like scary movies. Me, I'm a comedy, action or Sci-Fi guy. I don't want to be scared at the movies (hell, I don't want to be scared at home, and frequently I'll put on the headsets when Li pops in his latest suspense/horror DVD. So the other day, B was chatting with Li and mentioned an interest in hanging out with Li, not for sex, but to see a movie together. And then B asked "Is it ok if I hold your hand in the movie?"

My initial reaction on hearing this was jealousy, quickly suppressed but jealousy all the same. I trust Li, he's not going to leave me for a guy who shares his interest in thrillers. But there, for a second, there it was, a little glimmer of possessiveness.

I wonder if I'd have had this jealousy if I'd hooked up with B along with Li. Maybe if we both had met up with him, I'd not be threatened so much. It helps to know one's competition, even if the competition is only in my selfish little mind.

It's been a relatively quiet few weeks. I've spent more time in online games than offline play.

H stopped by a few nights ago, and Li and I worked him over really good. H is a great bottom, can take dick like crazy, and is more than a little kinky. He likes dirty talk and the occasional watersports in addition to nice, long fucks. We do the dirty talk easily, watersports, though, I don't really have the patience for. Drinking all that water or beer just so I can throw a guy in the bathtub and piss all over him seems like a whole lotta work. But then I'm not piss crazy, so maybe if I were really into WS I'd be a hardcore bladder-stretching piss pig capable of hosing down a guy with gallons of hot piss.

But for H, simply talking about watersports is enough to get him hot, so we wrap that into dirty talk. We fucked around with H, taking turns sticking our dicks in his hungry ass and seeing how many moans we could fuck out of him. After one of us'd cum inside him, he's whip around and suck the cum off our dicks. One of the highlights of the evening was watching H get off while sitting on Li's dick after we'd both cum a few times inside him. I always feel a bit bad if he goes home without getting off; even if he's OK with it.

Li went to the Lights Out party at Steamworks, and by his report, it wasn't all that he expected. Fun, but it wasn't dark-dark. A few years ago, Li was at SW when the power went out, now that was a dark party; the scheduled parties, they only turned the lights down a bit and turn off the hallway overheads. You still get reflected light from people's rooms and TVs.

I got home last night to find Li getting head from Humphrey. Turns out he was in the neighborhood on his way to the East Bay and called up Li horny as fuck, Li knows I'm always up for some fun and decided to surprise me.

I stripped at the door and walked over to the two of them. Li and I kissed Li while I feed Humphrey my cock. He alternated between sucking down Li and I, then took both of us in his mouth. After he had gotten our dicks good and wet, Li moved around behind Humphrey and ate his ass while H worked on choking down my dick. Getting his hole all wet, Li slid in and started fucking H with slow strokes.

H timed the fucking to match his sucking on my dick, he likes getting filled at both ends at the same time. As the Li picked up the pace, though, H stopped and just enjoyed the ride. I love watching Li work on a guy. H and I kissed while Li fucked him some more, I caught Li's eye and we kissed, and he gestured for me to switch places with him.

H's hole was already juicy and stretched out, I had no problem going balls deep with the first stroke, and while Li whispered into H's ear, I fucked him nice and hard until I shot my load inside him. I pulled out and while H sucked the cum off my dick, Li went back around behind him and started really pounding him.

"Let him eat your ass" Li told me while he fucked H, so I rolled on the arm of the couch and H's hungry mouth worked my own hole over. I felt each stroke of Li's as H's tongue sunk deeper in my ass. Finally, I heard Li grunting out his load, and H moaned and pushed his ass farther on Li's cock.

H cleaned up, grabbed a quick shower and headed home.

Not much going on in the past few days, really. Christmas, Li got me some nasty porn DVDs from Dickwadd. I liked the first Pigs at the Troff video, but what little I watched of the second one, it was more piss and humiliation and a little fisting, but not much raw, primal sex with hot studs that I liked about the first video.

I've been looking for torrent files to download while I'm away from the computer, and found gaytorrentnews.org. Not only do they have lots of neat vids that take days and days to download, but they also keep track of your upload/download ratio, just to show you how much of a leech you're being.

Li's going to be out of town the Saturday after New Years, wonder if I'll be up to anything. I wonder if Steamworks or UC Berkeley might be hopping, even if it is winter break. Maybe I'll just jerk off and try out Guild Wars. I love living in a city where any given time of day, gay sex is going on in some apartment, bathroom, park, bar, arcade, club or office, but sometimes it seems like too much work to find any of my own, specially when you can sublimate.

Tourist sex is fun, if you can get it. Not only are tourists fresh, fresh meat, they're also a little less jaded about travelling distances to get some. Li and I live outside of the beaten path in a neighborhood that isn't quite as gay as the Castro or even SoMa, and invariably we have trouble luring local guys over. Supply and demand of sex, I suppose, guys in SF don't need to go more than a block or two to get laid, so they don't. Occasionally we'll find a guy willing do walk or drive or grab Muni, but mostly our sex comes from tricking a Peninsula or East Bay boy into driving all the way over.

Li had been talking with this cute little Midwestern guy in town for the week. We first discussed meeting up and taking him to Steamworks to show him a nice time at the Bay Area's bathhouse, but plans went awry, and he wound up spending Thursday doing more touristy stuff. He was sweet about it, all apologetic about flaking on us, but we made plans for Friday and before we knew it, Thomas was knocking at our apartment.

Things started off a bit slow (for us), we spent about an hour just chatting before everyone got comfortable and started groping. And kissing, and getting clothes off. Tom was adorable, a little shorter than either of us, with a slim body and a hairy ass. We didn't waste any time crawling all over him, taking turns on each other. Got some hot three-way kissing, in between trading off blowjobs. Sometimes it was Tom and I kissing and sucking off Li at the same time, other times, Li and I took turns filling all of Toms holes with cock. For all that Tom hadn't gotten fucked for a while, he certainly wasn't out of practice. He was a real active bottom, the kind that rocks back on your dick if you're fucking him from behind, or that sits on your cock and practically takes all the work off your hands as a top. While Tom was going to town riding my cock, Li got behind us and started eating out his ass, and when we switched and Li was fucking him, I returned the favor. Watching a dick plow ass up close is like living a porn.

Tom surprised us all by turning out to be a shooter, on top of all his other skills. Love guys who can shoot distance, probably because my cum tends to dribble more than anything.

After about five hours of fucking, sucking and kissing, we went out for a midnight breakfast, then came back and went right back to hot sweaty sex. Fell asleep, and woke up the next morning for even more hot sex. By then, though, my dick was pretty chafed from the stroking, sucking and fucking I'd done. We swapped emails and next time we're in the same city, we all agreed that we should get together again.

I hate it when my dirty talk comes back to haunt me. Li has been asking me my fantasies during sex, and, silly me, I answer him truthfully. And him with the long memory, has a habit of bringing it up to me during non-sexual times. So when I say "I want to get strapped to a table and gangbanged by a bunch of well-hung gangsta boys" it doesn't mean "Go out and get me a bunch of gangsta boys to strap me down and fuck me senseless".

Not that Li did that, he just brings it up in passing conversation, and I have to back track. Sure, in my fantasies, I want to be a powerbottom, strapped to a sling at Steamworks and filled with cock for hours on end. I also want to be a wizard and ride unicorns around Middle Earth. Both have about the same chance of coming true. When all is said and done, Middle Earth remains out of my reach, and my ass remains a No-Entry zone. Pity on both counts.

***

Writing about not having sex has the effect of making me want to have sex. Maybe it's just the full moon. Whatever it is, I've gone into the bathroom at work to jerk off twice today, and I've started to make a short list of guys I'd like to hook up with again. Or maybe I'll just wait till Spring semester starts at the local colleges and hit the campus looking for horny guys.I'm willing to bet my monogamous streak will come to an end sooner or later.

Speaking of Steamworks, Li mentioned something about taking me to Lights Out one Thursday. I've never made it to that event, but I've been meaning to go, so if I feel up to leaving the house, maybe I'll go next time.

One of our favorite things to do during lunch or breakfast and long trips and whenever there's a lull in the conversation is to talk gossip about friends and family. We pick apart my sister or wonder how long my brother will last with his new girlfriend or trade stories about this family member's divorce or that family members gradual downhill slump.

Or talk about Carl and his new-ex-boyfriend. Carl used to live in San Jose with his husband/lover in a beautiful house on a quiet street where they would frequently host sex parties and surf the net looking for new pieces of ass, which is where Li met Carl in the first place. The four of us hooked up together once about a year or two ago, and I liked Carl, and Li liked Carl, and Carl like Li and I. Carl's boyfriend Terry, on the other hand, was the odd man out. Carl loves Terry, and Li and I took our turns entertaining him, but neither of us felt the same heat for Terry that both of us felt for Carl. I think it was because Terry was a really bad kisser. Great bottom; kinky, submissive and hungry for dick, but an absolute terrible kisser. It's a deal-breaker.

Carl's invited us over a few times after that, but quite frankly, even though Carl has a nice huge dick, a warm, inviting ass and an insatiable appetite for filling and being filled with cock and cum, neither of us were interested in either the drive from the City to the Silicon Valley or the fact that we'd be fooling around with Terry. I mean, you gotta be polite, right--no fair fucking a guy and leaving his husband in the cold when he'd rather be in the middle of the doggie pile.

Things, however, have taken a bit of a turn. One day a few months ago Terry decided that he wasn't getting what he really wanted (which was heavy D&s--Carl being more of a "let's fuck as equals and lovers" rather than a "Get over here and service my rod and then finish the dishes you worthless piece of shit mancunt") and spoke with Carl, and Carl agreed, and Terry and found a Master to be a slave to. So there was Carl and Terry and Master...then Master got weird and started horning in. Carl and terry (with a small "t") were forbidden to touch in Master's presence, and [t]erry was on orgasm control and couldn't cum or take off his collar without Master's permission (Master had the key to the padlock anyway). And then Master broke up with his husband of thirteen years to spend more time with [t]erry and--long, dramatic story short--there's now [t]erry and Master living together in [t]erry's place and Carl living in San Francisco but visiting [t]erry and Master and being their slave (or maybe a co-slave..I can't really understand if Carl is serving Master/[t]erry or just [t]erry). Funny thing, Carl and [t]erry have more sex now they're not together than when they were a couple.

But I'm not complaining, really, because it means that if we can ever pry Carl away from the ball-gags and the collars and the whole Master/slave/slave thing for a day or two, we'll have Carl and Li and I without having to worry about [t]erry's feelings getting hurt. Or at least that's my hope. Who knows how their relationship works these days.

All's quiet on the Western front. No emotional distress, no relationship troubles, no funny stories, and--surprisingly--no hookups.

Li met up with a buddy a week or so ago, but for me it's been three months without fooling around with anyone but him. That's partially my own lack of interest in other guys and partially my frustration with the fact that every time I go stick my dick inside some guy, I come away with some nasty infection. Slutty poz bareback bottoms: 3, Dusty: 0

So, tired of having to run down to Magnet to get my dick prodded every few months in order to get a prescription of antibiotics, I've avoided the bathrooms and the arcades and the online hookup sites and concentrated on losing myself in Final Fantasy XI and World of Warcraft. Sublimation FTW!

Found a hot little number on Manhunt during the weekend and spent the wee hours of Saturday morning making his dirty little fantasies come true.

First time hookups--when they're good--are really good, if a bit exhausting, there's sex and admiration and multiple orgasms. There's the joy of finding another person into some kinky stuff like you and if he turns out to be good looking and young, so much the better for your ego. And there's looking at the clock and realizing that it's already 5:00 am, and you'd better get some sleep, and then a few hours of sleep, wake up, fuck some more.

What sucks is the day after, when you realize that, hot as the new guy is, he's also needy as fuck. Sure he'll jump on your dick at a moment's notice, but he also wants to come live on your couch and be your houseboy, and much as your heart breaks for his lonliness, hey, you've got yours, and a studio apartment is too small for two people's shit, let alone a third. (Not to mention that sleeping three to a bed is not as sexy as fucking three to a bed. Middle-meat always gets overcooked.)

In a way, I suppose it's unfair for a couple to have a third over. Most times, a third person isn't a potential boyfriend, he's gravy, and if he's not stable enough to realize that, you wind up with a guy who wants to hang out with you all the fucking time. Not that that's going to stop us from doing it, there's always a chance you'll strike gold and find a fuckbuddy that just wants to fuck without wanting to move in with you or see you every day. We don't need a houseboy. Our libidos aren't so big that we need some eager bottom to bend over and take it every fifteen minutes. Inside the relationship, sex happens every few days and lasts about 30 to 45 minutes at the most, outside of it, it's about once a month we get a special guest star.

And then there's the law of diminishing sexual returns. Your first fuck is always hot, but that sets such a high bar when you think about it. Who--apart from a Scorpio--is built to fuck late into the night for five hours a day? Your next hookup will more than likely be considerably less hot than the first, the third shorter than the second and so forth until you've got a fuckbudy that you visit every few months for about an hour at most. Then again, maybe we're just lazy.

Li and I hit a bit of a rocky patch a few weeks ago, and if I was a good journaler, I'da posted a blow-by-blow as it went down. Right now, we've patched it up and I've been avoiding the bad memories so I can't really tell what we had our fights over or what the underlying tension was.

I did learn over the three-day weekend about the advantages and disadvantages of combining mild food poisioning with GHB. We went out to dinner on Saturday, to a seafood/asian/Hawiian restaurant that was a bit disappointing. I had a bowl of spicy gazpacho soup and some Ahi sashimi, and Li had sweet and sour chicken followed by a creme brulee for desert (how's that for mixing your cuisine). When we got home, everything seemed OK for a bit, then I started feeling a bit queasy, nothing bad, maybe it was just my meds acting up or something.

We had a guy over, and he showed up tweaking (though we didn't know that until later). We all did some G, fooled around for an hour or so, and then Guest passed out and Li and I were left feeling mellow. The guy--a cute, skinny blonde--was fun, if a bit high strung. Dunno what he was tripping on, but something tells me it wasn't just G. Maybe crystal, maybe something else (he was a bit hyper compared to other crystal users we've been with). He called us his new best friends and said some random stuff like "The stock market's got me really down" and used our living room to do some tumbles before he fell asleep.

As Li and I were chilling, I realized that my upset stomach was a lot more upset than I thought earlier, and eventually found myself sitting on the toilet, leaning into the shower and throwing up everything I ate. The smell got to Li and pretty soon, he was losing his dinner in the shower, too. I think it was the gazpacho soup that made me sick, and my being sick that made Li sick later, but we can't really tell, because I had some of his chicken and he had some of my soup.

Being sick while in an altered state isn't too bad, really. I was a bit detached from the whole process, and I actually cleaned up after myself. I remember thinking to myself "Just go throw up, you'll feel better afterwards" and I remember cleaning up the mess (all in the toilet or in the shower, so it was just a matter of flushing and turning on the water). I think if I was sober, cleaning up would have made me toss my cookies all over again.

We toyed with the idea of going to Golden Shower Buddies, the monthly piss play party at blowbuddies, but as the day came closer and closer, the less appealing it sounded. I bought Neverwinter Nights a few days ago, and am busy pretending to be an Elven Sorcerer, so don't really want to take time out to down a couple of beers and piss all over a bunch of other guys. It could be that if I do go, I'll have a blast and think to myself "How could I miss this!" But I'm not at that point yet.

Maybe one year, we'll try the wet party in Palm Springs in July, but really, we don't get off on piss in real life. It's hot in porn, but I guess a lot of things that are hot to watch wind up being only mildly interesting in real life.

Maybe I'll just take Li to Steamworks this weekend. Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Cranberry juice is God's way of saying "Go ahead, be a skank!"

All you red-hanky types, this is the last weekend of The sling. Such a shame, not that I ever went there, but I always feel a little sad when a local sex club dies out. I can't understand how places like Power Exchange keep going when intimate little clubs like the Sling or 333 linden go under.

The internet has something to do with it, I bet. I myself am guilty of weighing the cost of a night at a sex club against a month's subscription of whatever sex site of the month I'm currently cruising.

Maybe I'm imagining it, but the city seems a bit more sexed up this weekend. It's Dore weekend, the local version of Folsom Street Fair, and everyone's got somewhere to be. Tonight we've gotten invitations to two sex parties: one an hour and a half long gangbang and a the other a larger group where the party organizers rent out a warehouse. They don't overlap, and I'm tempted to see if we can make both of them. And maybe on Sunday, we'll hit Blow Buddies to give a helping hand to all the horned-up guys coming in from Dore.

I was going to post something serious about Li and I, but making plans for the weekend have driven it clear out my head.

Tricky men and their old Manhunt photos. Li and I felt a bit frisky, so we decided to hook up with another couple in the City that we'd been talking to for a while. And while they had no face pics, they had pretty impressive cocks.

So we arrive, get buzzed in and it's like "Woah, those are some old photos, eh?" But, hey, someday we'll be in our 40s and trying to get guys to visit us. And the sex wasn't bad, it's just that I'm a bit shallow when it comes to looks.

And the fact that the one guy looked like a young version of my grandfather, with a bit of a belly and a soft handlebar moustache kinda took me to a place I didn't really want to be. Making out with him, I was reminded of the times when my grandfather would kiss me goodbye: grandpa's whiskers felt a helluva lot like this guys whiskers, and once I started thinking that, well, it was kinda hard to stop thinking.

Fortunately, I soldiered on. So what if he reminds me of my grandfather, I've fucked guys who reminded me of my father, it's not a big buzzkill, you just gotta push it to the side and be in the moment.